So it turns out that whilst chocolate licorice can sometimes be the answer, the side effect of indulging on them in your post party haze is a nasty one indeed. Party pooper overload it would seem.
I have hit a big black hole. I kinda expected it in the come down from what has been both an epically challenging couple of months combined with my 40th birthday. I have a beautiful post ready to hit publish on from last weekend but I am not feeling the happiness in it so I will refrain for now. I often just want to post what I feel because the process of me emptying my head is a cathartic one. Be patient with me, if you don’t mind.
My head is a big jumble. I am positive that it is a combination of severe sleep deprivation (thanks anxiety, you rock on that front) and sheer exhaustion. I am procrastinating dreadfully which leads to chaos and more stress and worry and anxiety. I haven’t run in ten days. Yes, TEN. Actually I haven’t exercised AT ALL in ten days except to lift my arm up to the top cupboard to get another giant chocolate bullet.
I blame these pretty boxes that were on the table last weekend. I had to fill them with lollies because, cute. I thought I was on a winner with one kilogram, yes, 1000 grams of chocolate licorice left over. Gah!
So add these together and tell me what you get:
sleep deprivation + sheer exhaustion + no exercise + party time come down (hello, reality) + obsessively eating chocolate licorice
I can tell you what you don’t get. Serotonin. “Whatevs, serotonin, schmerotonin.”
But this wonder neurotransmitter makes us FEEL good. And as I am ALL about feelings then I need me some serotonin. Stat.
Serotonin levels are boosted by exercise so imma gonna be sayin’, “Anna, get off your chocolate licorice arse and go for a run.”
Serotonin regulates appetite which explains my insatiable one this week. I found myself at the kitchen bench eating a spinach and fetta pastry AND a chicken and avocado sandwich AND several chocolate bullets (probably, er, six) and wondering why the fuck I felt shit. I rarely eat that much gluten and sugar and I are not great friends. So thanks for that serotonin and your no show for you added a kilogram (of chocolate bullets) to my belly this week.
A lack of serotonin affects your sleep so well, der.
But wait, this is the kicker. 90% of serotonin is in your gut. So if you fill it with champagne, which I did to great effect last weekend, then follow that up with sugar and forget to eat your fermented vegetables because you know, hangover, then it is game over. Serotonin is wiped clean and you drop lower than a 40 year old’s boobs.
So you chocolate licorice in all your chocolately licoricey glory (it would appear that a lack of serotonin means that adjectives are out of reach as well), you are dumped. Hello fermented vegetables + fabulous tryptophan foods. Sheesh, what a come down.
But because I want to feel as good as this girl did last weekend then I will suck it up for that Princess knows a bit about making herself feel better. And well, feelings.
Colour me a little grey – moody + just not feeling right. Colour me a whole lot resilient and determined. I don’t have a colour for that right now so perhaps I need to add to my rainbow. What colour would that be?
Mostly I think because now I understand these feelings then you could colour me green – with clarity + understanding. With a side order of serotonin.